Darkest of Runs - Luke Cyr (43 Handicap)
Darkness chases, bites at the heels
Fear and panic, the deepest of feels
Holding onto the light, just inches away
Keep moving forward seize’ith the day
Feelings of fade, darkness holds life
Nightmares and horrors cuts like a knife
Concentrate and focus, hope of the light
Never falter, acknowledge the right
The pleasures of life, bagged for success
If concentration lacks, prepare for a mess
One day at a time, down to the hour
Carefully mapped will never turn sour
Upwards and onwards a future so bright
Success and respect with all of your might
This is a poem I wrote seven days after my suicide attempt. I was fresh from the Lock Ward and waiting to be admitted into a treatment centre in Guelph, Ontario. I wrote this in all honesty to keep myself alive. I still wasn't convinced I wanted to live. This was my way of leaving a trail of hints behind in case I tried again.
The first line sums it up, "Darkness chases, bites at the heels."
It's terrifying to go back to that. But, by writing about it, hopefully it will remind me to follow the path of hell laid out before me and stick to the plan. I'm so grateful I did.
A series of events and hard work saved my life. And, I'm alive today speaking to you by trusting the process.
Please trust the process.